How Are You, Really?

A close friend recently asked me “how are you, are you ok”? The irony is that I was just crying 5 minutes before that call which was originally a business call. Then it dawned on me that there were only 2 people who would’ve known how hard my recent transition back home could be. I have been struggling for a while with this recent move. And that’s not even the scary part. The scary part is that only two people in this whole world only knew how hard this adjustment could have affected me. Only 2 people. Why don’t we talk more? Why don’t we all openly express when we’re struggling in certain areas?

I know for me, I’m kind of a “trauma bonder”. I tend to connect quickly with people who have similar life stories. It’s almost like show me your scar, and I’ll show you mine. It’s not even the trauma that we focus on or share. It’s the vulnerability. When you can talk for hours and hours with a friend about sensitive and vulnerable topics, it opens up another level of connectivity. That automatically places them higher on my totem pole of friendships. Similar to how you have stronger relationships with people you've been through life-threatening moments together. It’s like a breath of fresh air when you can open up to someone and speak openly without judgment simply because that person understands you on a different level than anyone else. One fact that I realized is that we all have so much more in common than we think. All of our experiences are unique but they are not different. There are so many other factors that go into forming trusting friendship bonds. Figure out a way that’s comfortable for you and talk more with peers. You just never know that your current friends could be having similar experiences. But hey what do I know!?

Tristiny